"you have cancer" .... now what?

[Jo]

yesterday, i had to drive to columbus for my date with my oncologist. there is usually alot of traffic and rain was predicted but neither was a problem.

there was a new girl doing the statitical stuff.
she couldn't get the scale to work. then she hit the power button.
she put my height down as 5'10" instead of 5'1"
which threw off the BMI number. she recorded my BMI as 19
she failed to write down my weight when she weighed me. when she asked me if i remembered what it was i said "137.2" so she wrote 157 on my stat sheet
she got the bp and pulse right
i wanted cathy back, not this new girl. she told me she was a "floater" and maybe i know why.
anyway, dr. reid was gracious as always. the results from the ct scan and the last check up were clear. heart, lungs sound good. lymph nodes in neck are good.
i let dr reid know that 6 months without seeing him was too long for me. he asked "why? there's nothing wrong" and i said "but when i was seeing you every 3 months, i had that reassurance more often. now i only get it every 6 months and i think i need it more than that.". he looked at me and with a kind smile said "i understand you're feeling that way". it's good to know he understands. he's probably heard those comments before.

i will go back in 6 months and at that time, i'll have my yearly chest x ray and ct scan. i believe that might be my last scan. dr. reid said he usually stops ordering those at the 2 year anniversary but i have a few risk factors so he wanted to go a bit longer with the scans. so maybe september will be it. by then i will be 3.5 years cancer free.

[Jo]

i have been pleased with how i've been coming along with my cancer routine of care. things are good. i noticed the other day that my scar is barely noticable. i had a great surgeon

i need to investigate some things about sugar and sugar alternatives.

[Jo]

i have passed my 3 year anniversary of being told "you have cancer". next marker.............. may 7 when i will be cancer free for 3 years.

[Jo]

the passing of lana has me being very reflective over the past 24 hours. sometimes, i don't even feel worthy to be in the same cancer catagory, if you will, as others that i know. i had cervical cancer stage 1B. i'm in good health, no sign of recurrance, everything as it should be. how can i fit in with such fighters as lana and eli? like i said.... i don't feel worthy to include myself in their battles.

but yet i had a cancer that kills, according to the 2007 numbers, 1/4 of those stricken with it by. and more recently, the numbers indicate that

Cervical cancer is diagnosed in nearly 500,000 women each year, killing 250,000 annually. In the United States, it was estimated that 12,000 women in 2010 would be diagnosed with cervical cancer....

Protein Inhibitor May Bring a Topical Treatment for HPV -- BOSTON, April 29, 2011 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ --


say it
fight it
cure it

[Jo]

i'm feeling good. my thoughts these days, when it's not raining, is how much sun can i get, is this amount of time too much, too little, etc. both of my oncologist say "no sun bathing, no tanning". okay..... but i'm not staying out of the sun the rest of my life. SUNSCREEN i'll be picking up a bottle or two. one for the house, one for the truck and maybe a third one to stash on the mc. i'll have a bottle with me at all times. we cancer survivors do not want to burn, right?

[Jo]

....and there is no burning. i've been using the sunblock when we go out riding and when i mow. so far, so good.

funny.... not.... how things go full circle when you are trying to understand things. i often wondered why did i get cancer? what caused it?. my oncologist says i may never know the answer to that question. and really, does it matter now? not really but i guess it's just human nature to want to know things like this. anyway, i was at the dentist yesterday for a maintenance cleaning. i have a teeny tiny little spot that my dentist says is a cavity. what? with all the cleanings... 4 of them a year for the past 2 years... and all the cleaning, brushing, flossing, swishing, using my water pic and tiny brushes to get in between the teeth... how can this be? how the heck can i have a cavity? seems that my bacteria {we all got it, some is good} is over the top. seems my immune system isn't what it ought to be so the bacteria in my mouth is more than normal. well there you go.... my immune system isn't what it ought to be and thus i have a cavity and way back, when those cancer cells were wanting to grow, they did, because my immune system isn't what it ought to be.

how crappy.

well, i left the dentists office with my new cavity and clean teeth and headed straight for the Vitamin shop. i looked at all the pills and liquids they had that tout "increase you immune system" and left with a bottle of colostrum. i've read some on this and i'm anxious now to see if there will be any change in my mouth bacteria in 3 months, when i revisit my hygenist for another cleaning.

life if okay. i'm breathing, i can pay the bills, i have clean teeth and i'm cancer free............. oh, and maybe i'm on my way to a better immune system

[Jo]

i just don't post here or do much at this board because of the inactivity. there are so many cancer boards and help groups with experts.
but i do journal from time to time.

the colostrum that i started taking back in june is still part of my regime. some issues, i feel are better. as far as boosting my immune system.... i don't know. right at the moment i don't feel it's done anything as i seem to have a bit of a cold, although it isn't bad. but i have a dental appt. coming up so we'll see.

i have my yearly ct scan coming up tomorrow morning. ah.... that's probably why all this is on my mind. i expect the scan to show nothing.

[Jo]

ct scan has come and gone. chest xray has come and gone. and 6 month check up is done and over. all things look ok, reports are good and i have a standing appointment in 6 months.

i have gall stones. that's what the ct scan show. it's not cancer!